Aesthetics/Inner/Outer Race Relations & Kink/BDSM Part 1

Hola como esta dear kinksters. Cheers to the ones loud and proud and those who remain underground with their brand of sexy. Sincere Thank You for those that have allowed me to detain your senses and hopefully edu-tained you about some things dealing with Kink/BDSM and how I rock with it.
I'm just going to get right to it.
This subject has dominated my mind for quite some time and I didn't (and still am unsure) about how to approach it. I'm somewhat in a heavy rush to seek out exhibition participants for Urban Erotika Saturday 6/19 Bowery Poetry Cafe...see flyer at the end of this entry or the last one (Percussion Play aka Spankings) Or check facebook/twitter/skype etc..

I tend to personally separate kink into the category of folks who just like certain fetishes and things done to/with them vs folks who are into the style of life (lifestyle of BDSM which contains many layers the same as a 'vanilla' relationship. Trust, Loyalty, Open Communication etc).
However, as I'm trying to search for a partner or partners with an 'open mind' for this kind of play and in this case Men of Color...It leaves me wondering,
where are all the brothers who like to play??
Where are the brothers I'm interested in, who are interested in kink/BDSM from a switch/submissive perspective (in the bedroom at least)?
I mean there's brothers who surely don't mind being (or proclaiming) they're Dominants within BDSM or abroad. As I look up the few African American Kink/Fetish/BDSM websites and random chat rooms across the map, I'm personally not enthused with the results (or there lack of)on the submission side of things.



I continually gain knowledge regarding the psychology surrounding being sensually submissive and what it means for some/most Black Men on a regular daily living basis to societal counter parts. This IS NOT a blog about that. This is a journal entry solely pertaining to kink/sex/sensibility/sensuality and BDSM in particular questioning 'our' (Black) presence in this area of play/lifestyle. I just figure you have sex and how you enjoy being/doing your thing is one of the few places where you can/should be free with your sexy selves. Or am I living in a sweet sticky nasty fantasy in my own brain regarding this.


I've danced around this subject considerably because it's so much to think about outside of the kink-room/Dungeon nonetheless in it. I'm almost certain I'm going to probably make a small series of thoughts/blogs on this part of The Domme Diaries. Race the first and maybe last frontier (or smoke-screen in my opinion). It's 2010 ya'll and this very subject still reigns supreme. Even in this realm. I'm going to just cover the basic cookie aka Black and White. Yes, there's other races that get in and carry on, but since I'm a Black woman, I can only express the nuances and my viewpoint from this perspective. Perhaps some thoughts will seem neutral. Others will seem down right one way. You dissect it the way you chose. Remember perception is the big deception often times. All we have is nuance of experience. Or mislead misguided thoughts from folks who haven't even bothered to venture into their sexuality/sensuality/sensitivity and sensibility in this realm and/or beyond.

BUT let me try to grab a hold of the subject at hand...

There's a moment of aesthetic attraction as we all know. Some/most white guys just don't do it for me. I guess you can say the sexy white guy syndrome is the same effect as the general aesthetic of the beautiful [Black] Woman syndrome. TV has dictated what's a good looking white dude to me. If there were a bunch of Brad Pitts or even George Clooneys into kink; my 'job' would certainly have it's dilemmas of fraternization with the 'client' past our session space. BUT it often times doesn't as I don't even have to fantasize about crossing those lines. Aesthetically, I'm not into 92% of the men who seek a kink facilitator (me). More importantly, there's a innate sensibility with 'my own' as oppose to 'the other'. Some simple questions like, "Your hair looks interesting, can I touch it?" just isn't part of the dialog with 'my own' counterparts. I'm accustomed to being in the 'looking glass' on that aspect, but I don't want that 'showroom' feeling during my more personal interactions.

Outside of that sentiment, there's the questions about what role Black men attaining a conscious sensibility about their own sexuality. Leaving room to be open with respect to their own ideas on what sex for them is/can be. Not too long ago I expressed the notion of receiving head from someone can be deemed as Dominant to one of my 'brothers'. I told him from the time she has decided to have intimate relations with you, she is already the Dominant. When she decides to indulge you as well as herself in a bit of 'organic mic talk' aka getting/giving head, you are no longer the Dominant. A seemingly 'submissive' act isn't that at all.(or he if applicable as my blogs aren't read by just hetero folk and it's important to cover ALL bases. There are lovely gay/lesbian players in Kink/BDSM too) because if she bites down, that's it! Sexy game over. So she (or he) kinda has you at their whim. Dare I say/admit there's definitive power with being a submissive at least in this retrospect.

The ratio of black submissives vs white who seek me out personally or professionally is staggering. Could this be the syndrome/notion of "white girls/guys are easy"? I mean all we see is the 'freely freaky liberated white' for the most part in sexual sensual situations. When you watch white porn do you associate them with 'having fun' vs black porn 'they're in it for the check' Or could it be that 'they' are just open to things because of their lack of sexual oppression (public or personal).

One can sit here and break down the white man vs white woman and how they communicate sexually. Black man vs black woman and how they communicate sexually. According to how I view it through nuances of experiences. That is a whole other chapter in the 'Diaries'.

Makes me really think about how 'our' past as Black People has rendered us paralyzed in many facets and in this case something as amazingly pleasurable as sexuality and more so sensuality and all the different sensibilities surrounding it.

Definitely to be continued....

Please save the date Saturday 6/19/10 at the Bowery Poetry Club in NYC. I will be having a bit of spanking fun at Urban Erotika.



If you're an adult (as only adults should be reading TDD), and truly enjoy your biggest sex organ played with (YOUR BRAIN). Please feel free to come and join us at this very sex positive event. Embrace the sensible and sexual Art within.

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Delightful Disclaimer – ‘Domme Diaries' may or may not always be direct adventures of Aura Dynamo. Names, dates and anything else that might prove otherwise have been omitted to protect some of the innocent and a few idiots.

"Go do something Audacious with yourself and enjoy the memories!" - Aura Dynamo



Audacity Of… © 2010

**photos captured by Devin Allen**